Big date coming up?
Do you have the normal ‘pre-date butterfly stomach’?
“Will we hit it off?”
“Will they think I am too weird, over-the-top, quiet, loud, etc?”
“I hope it isn’t boring!”
One of the top priorities of a first date is to make sure you can think of interesting things to talk about!
Those long, awkward pauses are just so….well, awkward!
You probably want your first date to be casual, while subtly seeing if you are even remotely compatible.
Below are 11 great questions to ask on a first date!
1.) “WHAT DO YOU DO FOR WORK? DO YOU ENJOY IT?”
This is one of the best questions to help get a conversation rolling.
When you ask someone about their job, you are asking them what they spend 1/3 of their life doing!
Hopefully, they can find some joy in their work. If not, that helps to create a whole other conversation about their dreams and career aspirations.
Follow-up Questions:
“Tell me about a typical day for you. What is the most interesting thing that has ever happened?”
“Is there anything that you do that you feel helps you have a better work day?”
“How do you unwind after a long day? Netflix and chill, working out, etc?”
2.) “WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE FOOD?”
This question is actually more important than it seems.
Not only are you asking about next date locations (if there is a second date), but you are also asking about future gift ideas.
If they hate fish, you don’t want to order the crusted halibut!
Follow-up Questions:
“Do you have any food allergies?” (Always important to know!)
“What is your favorite dessert?” (If things go well, maybe you’ll want to surprise them with dessert later.)
3.) “SO WHERE DID YOU GROW UP?”
There is nothing invasive about wanting to know where someone came from. Most people are proud of where they are from!
However, this question is an amazing way to transition into asking about their family.
Immediately asking questions about someone’s family can be tricky. Not everyone has positive relationships with family members.
Follow-up Questions:
“What were you like as a child?” (I love this questions because it can be fun, interesting, and deep all at the same time).
“Does the city/town you grew up in still feel like “home” to you?”
“Do you have any siblings?”
4.) “WHICH WOULD YOU LIKE MORE? A TRIP TO EUROPE OR A CARIBBEAN CRUISE?”
This question is actually full of important information – even though it is light-hearted and fun.
Some people would love nothing more than to lounge in the sun on the beach – never giving a thought to travelling to a city on the other side of the world.
Others would prefer to go on a tour of a historical city in Europe. Perhaps the sign of a energy-filled travel enthusiast.
Follow-up Questions:
“What is your dream vacation?”
“If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be?”
“Do you prefer flying or driving?”
5.) “WHAT KIND OF MUSIC DO YOU LIKE?”
Most people have a major music preference!
Imagine dating someone who loved rap, while you preferred opera. That would be difficult – especially on long drives in the car!
Who knows? Maybe a future surprise date could be at the concert of an artist they love.
Follow-up Questions:
“Who is your favorite *enter genre here* music artist?”
“Do you have a favorite song?”
“Growing up, what was your favorite jam?” (…because everyone has a favorite band they listened to as kids!)
6.) “ARE THERE ANY TV SHOWS THAT YOU CURRENTLY LOVE – PAST OR PRESENT?”
Have you ever heard of “Netflix and Chill”?
It is one of the most popular date nights in America! (Snuggling on a cozy couch at home watching a favorite movie.)
Knowing your date’s favorite TV show is valuable – especially if you end up loving the same show!
For instance, imagine both LOVING “The Office” or “Parks and Recreation” or “This is Us” or “Grey’s Anatomy”.
It may sound funny, but having both invested time and emotion into the same TV show is kind of a bonding thing!
Otherwise, if you have no shows in common, perhaps you can suggest a future date night at your place – to watch the show of course.
Follow-up Questions:
“What is your favorite movie genre? Comedy, romance, sci-fi, historical, thriller, etc?”
“What was your favorite movie growing up?” (It is always fun to geek out over an old movie from the past.)
7.) “WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PASTIME?”
Perhaps your date has a hidden talent or a favorite hobby?
If they say “Sleep!”, and you are an adventurer, it may be a sign that you are not compatible. OK, I’m joking…but seriously.
Follow-up Questions:
“Is there something you have always wanted to do, but just haven’t done yet?”
“Is there any hobby that you have that you feel calms you down after a long workday?”
8.) “WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE THING TO DO IN THIS CITY/TOWN?”
Perhaps they have a favorite restaurant or popular hang-out spot.
If your first date goes well, perhaps you can fit “their favorite thing” into your next date!
Follow-up Questions:
“Is there any hidden ‘hole-in-the-wall” cafes or restaurants you recommend?”
“Are there any places or activities that you do not recommend?”
9.) “OK, SO I HAVE A DEEP QUESTION. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED IN A MOVIE?”
I know, cheesy right!?
But that is exactly why you should ask that question. It is fun and light-hearted!
Plus, maybe you want a person who is in touch with their sensitive side.
10.) “DO YOU HAVE ANY PET PEEVES?”
The answer to this question is more important than you could ever know!
Maybe your date is beyond picky – and you can’t compete with that.
Or, maybe one of your habits is their biggest pet peeves!
Examples: Clinking your fork on your teeth, picking your nails, chewing loudly, texting while talking, interrupting people mid-sentence, leaving cupboard doors open, not taking off your shoes in someone’s house, switching the car radio, playing with your hair, long lines at restaurants – and the list goes on!
Every person has their own list of particular pet peeves.
If someone has a pet peeve, that doesn’t mean they are trying to change you! It just means that they are human and have a few things that may tick them off.
11.) TALK ABOUT POLITICS AND RELIGION
“But those topics can be dangerously explosive!”
My personal opinion: “Well, good! Why do you want to waste time on someone who will fight with you over politics and religion. If you can’t find some common ground on these issues, maybe you aren’t meant to be.”
Some dating experts actually recommend that you talk about these topics on the first date.
These types of topics are almost never boring! Politics and religion often help to define who we are as a person.
Personally, my husband and I talked about these topics on our first date and really hit it off! Much to our pleasure, we found out that we aligned on almost everything – politically and religiously.
I strongly believe that aligning on these key issues is a big part of having a successful, long-term relationship.
However, if you don’t want to open yourself up to a possible disagreement, avoid these topics and stick to the other 10 questions listed above!
Follow-up Questions:
- “Was your family religious growing up?”
- “Do you feel that your political views stem from how you were brought up?”
There is nothing more difficult on a date than the sound of nothing – excruciating silence!
Having a list of ‘First Date’ questions ready to go is very valuable, especially if you are nervous.
The first date should be full of natural, light-hearted conversation.
It really isn’t the time for deep, life-questions – almost like a job interview.
Take a few of the questions above to your first date and you should be just fine!